Why does my cat bite me? Love bites, play and petting

It's one of the most confusing moments of cat ownership: your cat asks for attention, purrs, then suddenly turns and bites the hand that strokes them. "Why does my cat bite me?" is one of the top searches about cats. Here's what's going on.

1. Play biting

Kittens learn to control their bite when playing with littermates. Kittens who were separated early, or who were encouraged to play with human hands, often bite and pounce on hands and feet. It's hunting practice, not hostility, but it hurts.

What helps: never use your hands or feet as toys. Use a wand toy or a kicker toy to keep teeth and claws at a distance, and play every day so that energy has a proper outlet.

2. Petting-induced aggression ("love bites")

This is the classic "bite in the middle of a cuddle". Behaviourists call it petting-induced aggression. The cat enjoys being stroked, then passes a threshold and wants it to stop. Theories include: repetitive stroking becoming irritating, the cat only having one clear way to say "stop", or a cat drowsing off and startling awake. Some cats also dislike being touched in certain spots, commonly the belly, tail, paws or lower back.

Warning signs before the bite:

• tail swishing or twitching
• ears turning sideways or flattening
• skin rippling along the back
• body stiffening, stopping purring
• turning the head to stare at your hand

What helps: keep petting sessions short, focus on the cheeks, chin and base of the ears, and stop before your cat reaches the limit. Let your cat come to you, and end on a good note.

3. Fear

A frightened cat that feels trapped may bite to defend itself: when picked up, restrained, cornered or startled. Fearful cats can also redirect: a cat upset by another cat outside the window may bite the nearest person.

What helps: avoid restraining a scared cat, give them hiding places and an escape route, and let them approach at their own pace.

4. Pain

Pain is an often-missed reason. A cat with sore teeth, ears, joints (see arthritis in cats) or skin may bite when touched in a painful spot, or even when moved slightly.

What helps: if biting is new, or your cat reacts when touched in one particular area, book a vet check.

What not to do

Never hit, shout at or punish a cat for biting. It increases fear and makes bites more likely. Calmly stop the interaction, stay still (pulling away quickly can trigger more biting), and walk away.

When to see a vet or behaviourist

• Biting is new or getting worse.
• Your cat reacts when touched in one area.
• Bites break the skin. (Cat bites can become infected quickly: clean the wound and see a doctor if it swells, reddens or hurts.)
• You can't identify a trigger. A qualified cat behaviourist can help.